The love of my life.
So for my birthday last year (that’s December 10th, you ungrateful bastards who didn’t buy me anything), I turned 30, and my family decided they wanted to throw me a big bash to commemorate the big day. However, they were quite shocked to find out that, honestly, I didn’t really want a party. I’ve become quite cranky in my old age and, for the most part, I just don’t like people. I mean, I like gifts, but when you turn 30, you get those weird people who show up to your party with no gifts…that’s just crap. So I told them I wanted to forego the party this year.
“But Paul,” they asked, with obvious disappointment, “what would you like instead? Do you want a bigger gift this year since we were going to spend money on a party anyway?”
F*ck. Yes.
So I asked for an Xbox 360 Elite. Never mind that my Xbox didn’t really have anything wrong with it. It was just an older model and, though it came with component cables for high def gaming, what I really wanted was the HDMI capability, better video card, and larger hard drive offered by the Elite model. So I asked, and they gave, without question!
I was a super happy boy, but what to do with my other Xbox, the sad lady that had stood by me for all this time, with nary a problem and, while nothing was wrong with her, didn’t quite have the assets that my new sleek lady did? Read the rest of this entry »
It was bound to happen. Paul was whisked screaming into the jungle by the smoke monster. Screaming. Like a little girl. We mourn his loss as he’d want us to, by talking about the week’s comics.