I mean…seriously? I just looked it up…yes, Keanu Reeves is friggin’ 46 years old! Keanu! I mean, look at the guy – he looks almost the same as he did twenty years ago. Say it with me now….
Whoa.
Anyway, apparently we’re six weeks away from a draft of a script from a new Bill and Ted movie. Of course, nothing’s greenlit yet, so despite all the talk, the film may never happen, but would you be interested in another Bill and Ted movie?
Click here for the full story at Bleeding Cool.
Since this site is blocked at my daytime, might as well go whole hog, right?
I’m talking, my dear friends, about HARDCORE PORNOGRAPHY!
The porn industry is hurting, my friends. I mean, let’s be honest … when’s the last time you PAID for porn? The mere thought of paying for pornography is downright offensive to some, given it’s availability all over the place, but really…it’s still a pretty big moneymaking industry. Still, not as much as it used to be. I mean, like I said – just like other entertainment industries are hurting, porn is hurting. I mean, unlike you’re a hardcore fan of Gianna Michaels or something, you’re probably just apt to find any ol’ free porn video, am I right?
So what’s an industry that has to pay stunt c*cks and fluffers and j*zz moppers to do? Well…they appeal to geeks like you and me. They know we’re already watching porn – target demographic is people in our age group (except for Aron – that dude’s OLD). Not only that, they know us geeks like to OWN things geeky. We may not need to own porn, but we sure do need to own every issue of a certain run of comic, or every release of our favorite movie series or television show (regardless of whether we like it or not – how many of us own Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? Exactly.).
So when Batman XXX: A Porn Parody ended up being a pretty sizable sales hit, porn companies jumped on it. Since then, we’ve seen parodies of everything from Jersey Shore to the Flintstones and Scooby Doo (which was surprisingly good…I heard), and of course films AIMED at us directly, like Superman XXX: A Porn Parody (which kinda sucks…I heard). Vivid and New Sensations seem to be leading the charge on these films, with varying degrees of success and budget.
New Sensations is currently working on a Star Trek: The Next Generation porn parody that actually appears as if it’ll really please (heh) fans of the franchise. They hired an ACTUAL PICARD IMPERSONATOR WHO DOESN’T DO PORN (he has a stunt c*ck) just to make sure they get the feel right. I mean, that’s dedication for ya. They’re hoping fans of the series who have every season on DVD might just want to pick this one up (on Blu-Ray, of course) and put it next to the real stuff on their shelves and hope their wives don’t notice (“What? Oh, I’ve had that for years!”)
What do you guys think? What porn parody would actually get you to buy your porn?
I’m usually late to the game when it comes to awesome stuff. Case in point? Archer, the super hilarious animated spy show on FX. I saw the first episode with my wife and she HATED it, so for some reason it didn’t get added to the DVR (I blame her). However, after the season ended, I caught the entire thing on demand (it’s on Netflix streaming right now) and LOVED every politically incorrect minute of it. If you read this site and have never seen Archer, go check it out now! It’s also available on DVD, in addition to Netflix.
Season 2 premieres on January 27th – cannot possibly wait! I mean, the commercial already has be laughing out loud!
I’m debating this so bad…but I think that my desire to have my name pop up in the credits of a theatrically released movie will far surpass any power I give to my need to save money during the holiday season. Full Moon Pictures, the company behind the Puppet Master and Gingerdead Man series, is offering the opportunity to be an Executive Producer on their next film, Evil Bong 3D: The Wrath of Bong, which will be released (in limited release) theatrically next year.
All you have to do is buy a $200 gift card to the Full Moon store. You get the Executive Producer credit, a poster for the movie signed by the cast, and your $200 gift card automatically resets every year for the next two years…so you actually get $600 in merchandise.
More details after jump! Read the rest of this entry »
According to YouTube, this video is in no way associated with the upcoming Warner Brothers’ release of Yogi Bear, with Dan Aykroyd as the voice of the titular bear. Except that, according to this site, it’s actually a gag done by the animators of the film (which actually seems pretty believable). Either way, despite the fact that the film is surely not going to end this way…it should.
Ya know, I’ve got to admit…I’m getting tired of Zach Galifianakis. To a certain extent, I was tired of him before The Hangover was even finished. I’ve never been a big fan of that whole “annoying guy that everyone grows to love” concept – in fact, I pretty much get sick of all characters/actors who get their fame by doing that type of role (like Jonah Hill). To a certain extent, the schtick wore thin in the hay days of John Candy and Bill Murray, but there will always be some kind of actor who tries to fill the role, not realizing that what worked for those guys is that they were as lovable as they were annoying.
So it’s probably not going to come as a surprise what my thoughts on Due Date are. I saw the movie mainly for Robert Downey, Jr, who I think is pretty awesome (who doesn’t?), but the trailers made it seem like Galifianakis was essentially playing the same character, if not the exact same role, as he did in The Hangover. Still, I ventured to check the flick out, and my full review is after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »
Man, I love the Scott Pilgrim graphic novels. In case you don’t remember, my love for Scott Pilgrim is so strong that I attended a midnight release party for the sixth and final book, Scott Pilgrim’s Finest Hour. The series is funny, heartwarming, and full of awesome action and video game references.
Well, now we get Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, an adaptation of all six books, wrapped up into one epic movie of epic epicness. That’s right, all six books are jam packed into one movie. Shaun of The Dead and Hot Fuzz director Edgar Wright got the job of directing a cast, headed by Michael Cena and Mary Elizabeth Winstead. Did the movie live up to my love of the books? Read the rest of this entry »
I really dislike Will Ferrell. I mean, sure, I like Old School just like every other dude, but I don’t think I’ve outright enjoyed any film since then where he was the lead (or one of the leads). Maybe it was because I wasn’t too familiar with him when Old School came out, and I soon came to realize that, yes, he’s that damned annoying all the time.
Yet for some odd reason, I thought that The Other Guys would be different. After all, with a cast that included Mark Wahlberg, Eva Mendes, Michael Keaton, Samuel L. Jackson, and The Rock, it couldn’t be that bad….could it? Read the rest of this entry »
I remember, after seeing the trailer for Dinner for Schmucks, thinking “Christ on a bike, who the hell would want to see that movie?” before realizing that my buddy sitting next to me was excited about it. Begrudgingly, I agreed to see it with him, because he’s that movie buddy that will typically go see the films with me that no one else wants to see (except for Nightmare on Elm Street…looks like I’m waiting for the DVD on that one).
Before the film, I made sure to have a good amount to drink – what had I signed myself up for, I thought. I hate hate HATE Steve Carrell. I like Paul Rudd, but I find that the guy is starting to get into a bit of a rut, always playing the nice, straight guy in comparison to some kind of wacky other actor. Not only that, it was directed by Jay Roach, who directed the abysmal Meet the Parents movies. Not a strong pedigree…. Read the rest of this entry »
I watched five minutes of the pre-show for the MTV Movie Awards last night and had to turn the TV off because I felt like I was getting dumber by the second. I used to love that awards show, but when the kid who plays Lucius Malfoy wins over the guy who played the villain in Inglorious Basterds, you know you’re not watching quality television.
Still, the one thing that the show is still good for is previews of upcoming big releases…luckily, because of the wonders of the internet (and your buds at IoM), you can watch all the good ones below. Yes, good ones. Sorry Eclipse.