Voting for the ENnie Awards closes today. One Geek To Another has been nominated for Best Blog, but–as in any competition–there can be only one ultimate winner. While I’d appreciate your vote, it seemed an appropriate time to tackle a difficult topic: being a good loser.

The adage says, it’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game. Winning by cheating, or while making the game miserable for the rest of the players may still be winning, but in the long run, it’s often a hollow victory.

I also believe that, again in the long run, how you win or lose is as important as how you play the game. Read the rest of this entry »

Last week, I received an email from TJ, someone who listens to the podcast I co-host (Pulp Gamer – Out of Character). TJ enjoyed the show, but specifically liked the fact that I was one of the first podcasters he’d met who “admitted” to being a LARPer (Live Action Role Player, as opposed to solely tabletop or online gaming). TJ went on to say that Pulp Gamer was the first gaming podcast he’d listened to that didn’t “immediately mock the very idea of” LARP.

As a long-time LARPer, I had to stop and think about this for a moment. I’ve met many of my friends (perhaps the majority of folks I would use that label on) through one sort of LARP or another and the rest are either a part of a LARP or are at least familiar and comfortable with it. There’s The Camarilla, One World By Night, the Verse, troupe games, the SCA (which doesn’t consider itself a LARP, but has enough similar elements that most SCAdians wouldn’t find LARPing abhorant), Renn Faires… the list goes on, and I hadn’t really stopped to think about how alien that is to most folks. Read the rest of this entry »

Dear One Geek,

I’ve tried to write a pretty letter you could publish and answer, but GAH I’m too frustrated to string words together all good an’ stuff.

Here’s the situation I need help with: I’ve joined a gaming group with some old friends. I know everyone there except one person, a new roleplayer who’s a friend of the gamemaster. She’s obnoxious and pushes my buttons. This unfortunately brings out the worst in me, and I’M going to end up being the one who’s a jerk.

During character creation, she’d snort derisively and/or disapprovingly at the character names people came up with. It didn’t matter if it was a joke name we didn’t intend to use, or a serious name. She can’t be bothered to learn our names, or our characters’ names, so makes up unflattering nicknames. She makes her derisive snort at the decisions players and characters make, whether they’re good decisions or the sorts of bad decisions you consciously make because it’s “in character”, because those aren’t the decisions she’d make. She’s openly said that when something big goes down in the game, she’s not going to have my back.

I’m told “that’s just the way she is”. So when she pushes my buttons, if I respond, I’M the jerk. If she were doing this in character, and grasped that my character’s actions toward her character were not personal, I could deal with it. If I were the gamemaster, I could definitely deal with it. But I’m a guest in someone else’s home, playing in someone else’s game. I don’t want to get kicked out for not getting along with the GM’s friend, and I don’t want to quit because it’s otherwise a good game and I get to play with wonderful old friends. One of the other players told me to look at these as teachable moments, to lead by example and help her be a better roleplayer. Which is sage advice, and the kind of thing I’d say, but I really just want to slug her.

Any advice?

Signed,

Doctor Gamer

Dear Doctor,

On the social etiquette scale, the only thing worse than someone being rude and insulting is when the rest of the group recognizes that they’re being rude and allows it to continue because it’s “just the way they are”. It just enables and encourages the poor behavior. Some folks even end up thinking that the rest of the group likes their rudeness, thinks its clever, and wants them to continue. Read the rest of this entry »

Some of you may have noticed that the weekly formatting of One Geek To Another has been a bit… non-weekly of late. In fact, for the past few months, it’s been utterly absent. There have been a plethora of reasons: I was revising my novel, working on a series of short stories for a game company (The Adventures of Little Yoshida), traveling to New York to act as a guest at a convention (I-Con 29), and juggling the impromptu beginnings of a new fiction experiment (The Shattered Glass Project).

Regardless, I have not kept up with One Geek’s original weekly format, and I apologize for that. Even more so, I apologize for not coming to you–One Geek’s readers–and letting you know about what’s been going on. But there is a bright side to every situation.  These challenges–and my poor handling of them–have given me the perfect opportunity to talk about an important etiquette topic: How to “Fail” Gracefully.

Read the rest of this entry »

Dear One Geek,

Whether tabletop or LARP, certain folks I game with seem to have more fun bragging about how cool their characters are than actually gaming. They’ll drop out of character for extended lengths of time to go on and on about how awesome their stats are, what a great loophole they’ve found in the rules or what a stud their other characters are/were. It’s hard to get them back on track about the game we are playing at that time, and worse yet, they tend to pull others out of character as well.

What is a polite way to get people to stop playing MyTraits: the Droning and go back to playing whatever it is we’d gathered there to play?

Sincerely,

Just Wanna Game

Read the rest of this entry »

This week’s topic comes through a rather circuitous route, so bear with me… It starts a month ago, when I spent the first two weeks of December on a writing retreat.

The idea was simple. Seclude myself away in an area I find environmentally stimulating (for me, this is means winter storms, grey skies, trees and water, so the North Oregon coast was perfect) for an extended period (long enough for the “just here for a weekend” need to sleep/enjoy the area/get over jet lag to go away) with a specific purpose (revising my novel per some professional advice I’d received on it.) I was fortunate enough to be given the opportunity to borrow some friends’ mom’s cabin, which meant the ability to cook in the kitchen, sleep in a real bed, etc. And, perhaps most importantly, it had limited connectivity – no cable tv (not a biggie for me), no telephone (but I had my cell) and… NO INTERNET.

I’ll pause a moment, for those of you who know me to regain your senses. Yes, I willingly removed myself from in-house internet for two whole weeks. I know. I know. Read the rest of this entry »

Many thanks to Gloria Weber for last week’s wonderful guest blog!

And without further ado, we present the last One Geek to Another for 2009! Looking forward to answering more questions for you all in 2010!

Best Wishes and Happy New Year!

~jess

Dear One Geek,
When is it appropriate to have your minor children (particularly much younger ones) along on geek expeditions, and when isn’t it, and, more to the point (for those of us that who are happily child-free) what’s your take on when it’s OK to ask folks to leave their kids home, or ask they be excluded/removed from a situation where they’re not really appropriate? I’ve never been to a professional trade show in any other industry where people brought their kids along to professional business seminars and the B2B exhibit hall, but it seems to happen at GTS and the Diamond Comics trade shows all the time.

It bugs me, but I also recognize that I may be a little oversensitive in this area. Your punditry on the subject would be helpful, I think.

Thanks!

-No Kidding Around. Read the rest of this entry »

Welcome to One Geek To Another’s first (but hopefully not last) guest blog! This week, we have invited Gloria Weber, prolific short story author and novelist, to share her insight and experience on the Do’s and Don’ts of Getting Your Short Story Published. We’re honored to have Gloria here with us, and to be able to share her knowledge with you!

And as always, thanks for reading One Geek to Another!

Hello, my name is Gloria Weber.  I’m the author of many short stories and the novel Gaslight Demons, published by Morbidgames Publishing.  Jess has been so kind to allow me to guest post today about the do’s and don’ts of getting your short story sold.

The first do of short story selling is the most obvious one.  The piece needs to be carefully edited for spelling, grammar, and storytelling, making it as perfect as possible.  That being said, there’s a chance a mistake might still slip through, and that’s okay.  Editors are aware of the fact you are human and will forgive an error or two.

The second do is finding the right publication to send it to.  You want to make sure that your story’s word count and genre meet the needs of the publication.  If you wrote a 7,000 words long, traditional fantasy tale, you do not submit it to a mystery genre magazine with a 5,000 words limit.  Ideally, before submitting to a publication, you should have read at least one issue to see examples of the editor’s standards and taste.

When sending out the short story, there are three do’s.  The first do is make sure you follow the submitting instructions.  If they want it attached as a .rtf (rich text format document), do not send a .doc (Microsoft Word document). If they want is sent via snail mail, don’t hunt down an email to send it to.  Editors usually ignore submissions that do not follow their guidelines.

The second do is write a cover letter, even if it is for an email.  In this cover letter do not write “Dear Editor,” unless no matter how hard you try you can’t find out the person’s name.  But there is usually no excuse, aside from laziness, for using such a greeting, as writing market listings generally provide them.  I’ve heard editors complain about receiving such letters, and it makes them less than optimistic about your writing from the get go.  The rest of the letter will be a one to two sentence description of the story, include a word count, the title, and any previous writing credits or credentials that apply to the story.  Sometimes the cover letter may include something from the submissions requirements, like a short author biography.  But unless told to add such things, just stick to selling your story.

The third do is the simplest to explain.  You send a short story out to one publication at a time.  The majority of editors do not accept simultaneous submissions.  And it would look bad for you if you have to say, “Sorry, but another place already bought it.”

Eventually, you’ll get a reply.  Worse case scenario is a rejection.  If the letter angers you, do not hit reply and chew the editor out.  Do not post it on your blog with details and state that the editor is a moron.  Instead, find a friend or loved willing to listen to your tirade face-to-face or over the phone.  Editors talk to one and other, especially within genres.  Doing such a thing will not only be unprofessional, it would be a detriment to selling your future writings.  Conversely, if the editor took time to include a personal note or helpful advice with the rejection, it would be good form to send back a thank you.

If the reply was an acceptance, a thank you note and prompt signing of the contract is in order.  When it comes to editing, also be prompt and professional at all times.  Remember, the editor is only trying to make your story perfect for the publication, while helping you put your best literary foot forward.

And those are the basic do’s and don’ts of selling a short story.  I hope it was of some help.  If you would like to learn more about me, Gloria Weber, and my writing visit: http://gloriaweber.wordpress.com

Dear One Geek,

Signed,

Curious about Common Courtesy

Dear Curious,

On-line gaming can be a boon to gamers, but it also presents its own challenges. Some internet “hiccups” are unavoidable. Especially if a player has slow bandwidth or unstable service, they may have trouble logging in, or end up cutting out of games or conversations suddenly due to circumstances well beyond their control.

In the short term, while it’s frustrating to have other players drop out without so much as a “gotta run”, it’s probably best to assume that the issue is technological in nature, rather than a lapse of etiquette.

If it becomes an ongoing problem with the same player, however, you may want to politely discuss the matter with them. Calmly bring up the problem, and ask if they had trouble connecting, got knocked off line, or just signed off. If it’s technological in basis, it may be a short-term problem (weather, outages, signing in from a public wi-fi spot, etc.) or ongoing, and knowing which may help you decide if you want to continue engaging this person in the online game or not.

If the issue is behavioral, on the other hand, it’s well within your rights, if you’re playing in an online game or MMO, to ask that they at least let you know if they’re not showing up, or signing off for the night, so you don’t wait for their arrival/return. If they continue to be a repeat offender, you can either adjust your expectations (ie: don’t wait for them to show up/come back, and if they’re penalized by their absence, that’s too bad), or your engagement with them. It’s possible their views of appropriate online interaction may be different than yours, and if you can’t come to an acceptable common ground, they may not be someone you want to continue gaming online with.

Have questions about how to handle a geeky situation? Need advice on social etiquette relating to games, movies, fan groups, conventions or other geek-ful settings? Write us at  OneGeek@jesshartley.com and your question may get answered in one of our future One Geek to Another columns!